Swim Fitness Articles

The Ballad of Beginner Lane

We breathe water up the nose,
Hit our heads and bruise our toes,
Get muscle cramps and shoulder strains,
We're the men in Beginner Lane.

We may not swim so very fast,
In fact we finish dead last,
But slower times mean longer pain,
For the men in Beginner Lane.

Trained to breathe on either side,
Trained to turn and kick and glide,
Trained to fight the water drain,
The mighty men in Beginner Lane.

At the wall, a coach awaits,
Our technique was not so great,
She'll bite her tongue and won't complain,
For she knows it's Beginner Lane.

On the day we pass the test,
And keep up with all the rest,
The foolish man who joins that day,
Will see us smile, and hear us say:

"You'll breathe water up your nose,
Hit your head and bruise your toes,
Get muscle cramps and shoulder strains,
Welcome to Beginner Lane."

Written by Peter Busch, Durham YMCA

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